Fashion is the death of YOU.

This is another topic that is partly based on my last post.

Today I went to the store &  One isle caught my eye.

I've mentioned before that those perfect images make us feel like we are doing something wrong with our life We degrade ourselves, wishing we could be just as pretty, and admirable.

This post is especially dedicated to the young girls out there that don't know where to go or who to be due to continously alternating media signals & role models.

Curvy or skinny? Big ass or tight little bum?  Huge or small perky chest? Tanned or fair skin?

How do I know what they expect me to look like? What does it take to be pretty? How do I appeal to the boy I like?

All the different ideals of beauty that are lingering in 2015 are screwing teen girls/womens lives over.

We are all born with specific genes and features and now people want us to suddenly have a huge bum? To be tanned when we get sunburned very easily in extreme exposure to the sun? They expect us to have tight little waist with perfectly proportional chest?

And they seem so helpful releasing all those magazines on how to gain weight and get curvy, on how to train your butt so you fit in the big bum club. They have even tested a million self tanners to suggest you the one and only selftanning product.

And yet other magazines tell you how to lose weight, how to stay toned and get the perfect bikini body.

You know if anything you might aswell be skinny,tanned and have a big bum!

And while we are at it. let's work on your personality. Because we all know that we can't just be pretty on the outside, we also have to be perfect on the inside!

"Guys are Attracted to Curvy Women" 

I'm assuming that Sonakshi Sinha has a naturally curvy body, and is trying to rebel against the "skinny trend". She is stating that every man out there prefers curvy girls over skinny girls.

So all the naturally skinny girls will have a hard time finding a man or are naturally less attractive.

I do not find this empowering at all. Even if I was a naturally curvy girl, I'd find this absolutely uneccessary.

We do not live in the cavemen days anymore where the female with the most female hormones is winning the competition, because she is the most fertile woman.

Yes, there are still some psychological remains of it, but those only make men be more attracted to healthy looking women.

Now, despite the fact that women don't live to please men, it is also not healthy for us to force our bodies to look a certain way.Nor is it healthy for us to segregate our own gender into " attractive and less attractive", "right and wrong".

What she is saying is, in my own opinion, something she is doing for herself, to feel good about her curves, to defend herself, after trying to be skinny for so long.However she doesn't realize that she is on one of the most popular magazines for girls/women, making them feel worse about themselves with  the first word they are reading.This applies to hundreds of "Role Models" out there.

After doing some research I came across this.

This picture shows Sonakshi Sinha, and her massive weight loss.

She made her own lifechoices, and it is her own lifestyle but how is someone who is never even content with themselves, someone to reach out to young girls. Telling them how to be.

And there is so many more ideals we get thrown in our faces that we don't even stand a chance to accept our own bodies just the way they are, whether it's skintone, bodyshape or eye color.

Let's read  these precious lyrics:"Yeah! This one is for my bitches with a fat ass in the fucking clubI said, where my fat ass big bitches in the club?Fuck the skinny bitches! Fuck the skinny bitches in the club!I wanna see all the big fat ass bitches in the muthafuckin' clubFuck you if you skinny bitches, what?! KyuhHaha, haha" - Nicky Minaj, Anaconda

If I had to put this into 2015 language I'd say : #compensatinglackofselfworth #insecurities 

All I see women do in media is trying to justify their own body size. "Yes I am curvy so what you skinny bitch?", " Maybe you should eat less burgers you fat jiggly hoe".

Why do we feel the need to justify what we were born with? What is media doing to us that we feel wrong in a body that's been made for us?

The lack of selfworth in our generation is getting bigger and bigger. And so is the level of compensation.

We have to love ourselves before anyone else. Love our bodies. We can work out, we can do surgery, but only if it is our own choice. If we do it for ourselves and not to prove anything to anyone. We have to accept our beauty.Because yes, you are beautiful in every way.

What media does is make us believe that changing ourselves completely and being unhappy with ourselves is normal.It is a necessary status quo for that industry to be successful. What would they write about if girls/women were happy with themselves and did not long for constant change?

I think 80% of their topics wouldn't have an audience, since women would feel strong and above all judgement. 

Media is the superhero that will never actually catch you when you're falling.They will test a hundred products for you, give you so much advice. But in the end they still require you to feel insecure. They have to keep you unhappy, by inventing more and more things you can change about yourself. They need you to believe that not accepting yourself as you are is alright.But it is not. 

Studies show that depression in young girls is rising and rising.We have to commit drastic changes in our thinking, now! [here] & [here]

Truly being at ease with your own body is the healthiest thing you can do.Living your live chasing what you, and only you desire.

And a magazine telling you how to change your personality just so everybody likes you?You do not need that. Never in a million years will one human being manage to make everyone love it. Why? 

Because if everyone loved him/her, one would always not love him/her for being so loved.

I want you to imagine yourself and everyone around you as colorful, still in progress, paintings. All of them are made with a great love for detail.Every single one is unique. Some paintings colors hamonize better with other specific paintings.  And together they create a beautiful compostition. However that doesn't make it harmonize with every other painting, and it doesn't have to, since it is already beautiful.

As the paintings get older they add more and more colors.But at one point all the paintings decide to tell each other how ugly they are in order to feel like the best. And a certain group of paintings takes advantage of that and tells you to draw different colors on your painting that will make everyone see you as a "better" painting. But you will be unhappy with it, cause it doesn't actually match your true colors.

Never deny what you truly are! Never pretend for anyone. Never change for anyone. Be you. Be the creator of the worlds first "You- Painting". No one can copy it, cause they don't have the same starter color kit. Internalize this, for your sake.

This can be applied to all men out there aswell, but that will be another post. 

I love you, please love yourself too! 

Ariana, you are not perfect.

28.05.15

A „star“ in our society seems to be someone who is above all of the „ normal“ not so glamerous people. Maintaining a perfect, shiny life with a very „utopian“ lifestyle.

You define them as someone to look up to, while degrading yourself thinking „Why can't I be like that person, why can't I reach what this person has reached“.

We are surrounded by fake ideals we strive for. Ideals, hiding that we are all just human beings.

The most obvious argument for this, and I am sure you have heard this many times already, is that they are photoshoped,they have managers who force them so present theirselves in a perfect way, their skin is made smooth with adobe after effects, and so on and so forth. At this point we compare ourselves, come to the conclusion that we are not as “goodlooking or successful“ and start throwing ourselves, what I'd like to view as, „lifebelts.“

I bet everyone of you has googled “no make up ______ <- enter admired star or person here“ before

or has asked other people questions like “do you think she's pretty? I don't think she is, it's just all make up.“ or “Do you think he actually owns that car?“ .. or what about “He was born with money and I can't change that I cant post pictures of cool places on instagram“.

Another popular statement is “ I don't feel the need to present what I have.He/She is so artificial“

It is a long long process of justifying that in the end you are better than that particular person.

Here's the catch. There is no need to justify.

We degrade ourselves for an image we create in our head.

We seem to only perceive what is shown to us. Not realizing that we are all human beings.

As we continue scrolling through pictures of others lives, we mirror our lives in our head.

We see ourselves rolling out of bed in the morning with no make up on or smudged make up, we see us failing an exam, we see us sitting at home at spring break, we see us being unproductive on the sofa or we see us being sick and pale and smelly.We mix our “imperfections“ into our selfperception. But we do not consider others having flaws that could influence our perception of them, which tricks us into thinking they are perfect and then forces us to compensate our insecurity by obsessivly searching for flaws.
Our own value is the product of our thoughts, don't miscalculate your own worth by adding up non existent insecurities.

All of the mentioned examples above are completely human. The only difference is that in a society diseased with perfectionism nobody shows it. And thus makes us think that their entire life is flawless.

Our minds seem to do only shallow observation when it comes to media nowadays.

It creates a lack of selfworth and selflove which leads to hatred, jealousy and pretenciousness.

The first step to finding your own worth is to stop comparing and tricking yourself into thinking that some human beings are less human than you.They are not machines, they are not perma tattoed with good make up on their face and they are especially not better than you, because their external world is filled with blatant materialism or their genes gave them a different body shape.

Every single human being has its talents, and its features. Even stars will look at pictures of other people, feel less confident and compensate their doubts with the success they have.

Something humanity seems to know but not to truly understand is that happiness is the most wanted resource out there. Everyone acts in order to be happy or to feel complete.

The first step to receive the gift of true happiness is to get rid of your ego.Get rid of the thoughts that tell yourself you are not enough, and that others have way more than you.This can relate to looks or things.Im not telling you everyone has flaws, because to me every human is flawless, since there is no ultimate ideal of beauty,personality or a perfect life.

Happiness, self worth and love do not come from the outside. Ghandi once mentioned something along the lines of : If you are not happy with what you have now, you will not be happy with what you wish you had.

It is healthy for your soul to never stop seeking what you desire, and if you have reached your goal, be grateful, welcome it, learn, internalize and continue seeking.

Only when you understand that you are bigger than what you make of yourself, you can achieve whatever you want and be your authentic self. You are not a soul limited by your own body, you are a body made limitless by your soul. (Inspired by Jim carrey)

You are a unique creation of a thousand of atoms made of stardust, that chose to manifest themselves in this very particular way, so you could become the person you are meant to be.And you will master the challenges and grow from the very moment your first breath is taken.Do not seek to be a copy, fan the flames within yourself and follow the path they lead.

-love, nadinenai

Who I am.

I'm Nadine 20 years old and I just woke up at 12 pm . (lazy eh?)  Im a passionate writer and an idealist.I have set views on life that I never or very very rarely give up on.

Life is amazing, and full of little wonders.If you were to ask me whether a human is naturally good or bad, I'd answer with good.

I believe that, there's a wide spectrum of things that can get the best of you, but the only way of that happening is by letting it. By really believing that there is no possible way you could be strong enough to adapt to the situation while staying true to yourself and keeping youself happy.

Quick rules I live by:

☆Never persist on bad influences whether they are external or internal.☆

☆Never insist on someone else to change what you want to change.☆

☆Never resist the urge to follow your dreams and never surpress them.☆

☆Only exist in the pure ideal of your own
soul.☆

So as you can tell, I jumped on the spiritual train quite soon.

As I grew up I soon realized that I don't need a religion to simply be kind or share happiness.

However,I found buddhism to be the right thing for me.I got introduced to it by my stepdad.

He taught me to meditate and be at ease with myself.Which lead to me being in total control of my negative emotions.Buddhism, to me, always was the only religion that merely preached about being a good human being and being healthy;physically as well as mentally.

Buddhism created the foundation of who I am today & inspired me to go further.

Which brought me to Spirituality

For many years I experienced weird events that made me question after life, ghosts & auras.

And throughout these years, a friendship that I believe was meant to be, got stronger and stronger.

Up to this very moment, we still call each other to share our thoughts, which are mostly exactly the same,but it still always amazes me how similar 3 different people can think and develop in totally different lives.

Together we dug into different spiritual topics (like LOA f.e), we analyzed peoples behaviours, we shared concerns and most importantly our consciousness grew.

One aspect of spiritual growth is that you start seeing things in almost a third person perspective, even though you are the one involved in, lets say a discussion, you don't  immediatly react to a statement; but instead you stay objective, see it on a whole and think about it and reply calmly.

Now that doesn't always work of course, but it happens more often than not, and that to me is a huge accomplishment.

 Let's continue to the more "normal" things

Other than writing, I love nature and hiking. I love being adventurous but I can't always convince myself to be it. (I need to work on that)

I love being healthy and fit, but I'm lazy at the minute and prefer reading and philosophizing all day.

I turn the lightswitch in the bathroom off before I unlock the door and it scares me every time.

That is also a consequence of my passion for horror movies.-Im guilty.-

I love the asian cuisine.I love eating out of bowls (i hate eating off plates).

I'm the kind of person you wanna slap because her jokes are so bad and childish. And in regards to zodiac signs, I'm a typical not so typical cancer.

But if you wanna send me sweets, candles or anything antique and pretty I'm up for it! jk. not rly jk. ^_~

Emotionally.. I'd say I'm less emotional than the typical cancer.I do get upset quite easily when something means a lot to me, but other than that I am "enter reggae music here" eassaaayy.

 On a serious note

I started this blog because Ive always been passionate about helping others and sharing insights.

This blog means a lot to me and I appreciate every view, every follow or comment.

I want to build up a place where people can just share thoughts and insights.Also, if ever someone wanted help with a problem he/she is struggeling with, I'd be there and I would take it 100% seriously.

So if anything else pops into my mind, I'll add it. Until then much love <3

xoxo

Im so frustrated I could just kill someone!

I was staring at this blank page for ages now.I coulnd't get my head around it.How would one more essay on the world war, one more essay on history change the present world for a better. How would another page in my notepad filled with mathematical equations do the world any good. Just so I can prove that im worthy to earn money? worthy to live?

But who is going to test whether im a good human being, whether I can share or be kind, whether I can appreciate what I have or love.Why do we teach things that we can forget. Something only temporary, with a permanent effect on us. And we stress about it so much that sometimes, we even lose our true selves, in the beginnig of our own precious life.

What about inspiring young people, what about giving an impression that changes their lives forever. Instead of judging them for undone paperwork, judge them by giving them a chance to be what they truly are.

It sounds so very science fiction to me, that I know, I've been in this system for too long.

What if our first priority was to make children know that happiness is the most valueable resource out there. And they grew up to be believing in themselves, being proud of what they are doing, even if it's something we wouldn't consider honorable work nowadays.For all we know, that person could kill out of despair,could compensate its anger through violence or just sit in despression and commit suicide. Yes I'd rather have everyone chasing their own personal dreams instead of being forced into a cage called education.

And you have to remember all of those people who coudnt graduate highschool, couldn*t get to college, thinking that they haven't made it in life, that they can never provide their kids what they want.They will grow up working day by day, hour by hour working for something they don't want.

Turning themselves into dull,dreary souls stuck in routine.

Education, sounds so very brilliant. So resourceful. But is it?

 Does education really mean embracing your own talents, being passionate about what you want to learn?

Or does it mean, even though you choose a subject in college or highschool, learning what they want you to learn? Learning till they can stamp a grade on you, giving you a certain wage you deserve, giving you as a person a value you deserve.

Is education about the individual, or is it merely a crowd occupation. Every individual that thinks it can change the world will have a bachelor or a master at the end of the day. And no one will have ever seen their true beauty and potencial.

And for all they know they will be stuck in the system, craving being free and being passionate like a kid again.

-astorybynadinenai

The Most Astounding Fact about the Universe

                                                   

 The Most Astounding Fact about the Universe

"When I look up at the night sky and I know that yes we are a part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up, many people feel small cause they're small and the universe is big, but I feel big because my atoms came from those stars. There's a level of connectivity.That’s really what you want in life, you want to feel connected, you want to feel relevant. You want to feel like you're a participant in the goings on of activities and events around you. That’s precisely what we are, just by being alive. "

Foundation of the Universe Is Within You

Foundation of the Universe Is Within You

The Universe is endless.It has a wide spectrum of beauty.There are planets, some larger than others, some smaller.There are stars; some glowing brightly , some slightly sparkling,shimmering.And it all together means life.It means beauty.It means endless wides, open for change and improvement.It means stars exploding, to create something better. It means pureness.You're part of it.

I ask you now, to project this passage onto society, read it again in regards to it being people.

I am sure that, even though the passage does not include any suggestive descriptions.

, you automatically thought about the larger planets as being worse than the smaller ones. That the glowing ones are the successful people on the planet that just do everything “right“. That this passage is about tolerance.But it is not. It is about you.

If I asked you whether you are a glowing star or a shimmering one, a large planet or a small one. What would you pick? And what would you prefer if someone had to pick for you?

Now, society teaches us how we are supposed to be, what we should do and what we should not.

The shocking part is , that no matter how individual and independant you are, you still find it in yourself. You have a picture in your head of how you should be, of how people will look up to you, or like you.

It is not always to be found in our consciousness but rather our subconsciousness.If you're sitting there reading this and thinking, well I don't,I am an execption, but you're still unhappy with yourself, then that might be the case.

First let me clarify that there is no ''you should be'' or ''you shouldn't be''. You have been given the chance to be alive, to be you and not an object adapting to the crowd. You have a personality, you have a soul, you have a character and you have a plan. You do not have to fight for your right to be alive or even to be accepted.You are, already, You are in this very moment you're reading this.

There is nothing else to it.There is no one who can take that away.

Feel powerful because no one can touch your individuality, no one can touch your thoughts. You are your own universe. No one would ever dare to tell the universe to change a star constellation or a planets colour. And why? Because it is already beautiful and it wouldn't change anyways, since it is aware of its own beauty and it is way to powerful to even listen to a wish that shallow and foolish.

That could be you. You are as you are. And if it is not what society acknowledges as ''right'', doesn't mean you are wrong. We have to remind ourselves that society is not the head of our life. You are. No matter how much they think they can influence you, you know you are right as you are, and for yourself.

It could be parents that don't want you to live your dreams, it might be mom telling you to lose weight, it might be kids at school trying to bring you down,it might be a boyfriend expecting you to be a certain way,or it might just be yourself trying to force you're individuality into a small box titled with the word ''perfection'' .

No matter who, and how close they are to you,your relation to them does not give them the right to choose your dreams and wishes for you or decide on what person you have to be.

Our view on parents or teachers etc. is strange. Just because they are older, just because they are relatives, does not give them the right to tell you who you should be. You are yourself and if it might lead to bad experiences or even good ones, it is still your experiences. You're personal development.

All people merely should do is inspire, create motivation, leave impressions and give you an idea of what things you could strive for.They should not force their will upon you, they should not make you live their dreams, they most definitely should not decide on what you have to like or not.

You were born with your own desire to find out who you truly are and what you want to do.Their actions are distracting you from going your own way. It lengthens the way, and it multiplies the energy needed to actually reach your own personal goals.

★ Tolerance ★

I mentioned before that this is not about tolerance, and why isn't it?

If everyone would be happy and at peace with themselves, and strived for what he/she is meant to be or do, no one would ever have to ''tolerate'' a person, a behaviour, given that they would not feel the need to segregate crowds, or practice criticism. If you have to tolerate someone, it implies that you think there is something wrong with them in the first place, which is not the case.It is merely a deception of society. „Be tolerant“, sounds like you have to do something,in order to be tolerant. When actually being happy with yourself is all you need to be. Nothing could shake your universe if you were sure about who you are. Some, not all, but most of mankind does act like they are tolerant but still subconsciously think that they are ''better'' than them, since they, themselves, do not require to be tolerated, and thus makes it easy for them to ''be tolerant“.What we reject in others is a mirror to what we reject in ourselves.

That is the foundation to understand what I am about to tell you.

We have ruled out all external influences, that could cause you to be unhappy.

You have to internalize that no one is responsible for your life other than yourself.

You are the artist that is drawing his masterpiece.

Again I will find you thinking '' How is this a masterpiece if I am miserable, or I am this or I am that.''.You might even think i romanticise or simplify being happy with yourself. But I am not.

The next big factor is acceptance.

Your subconcious has picked up ideals of people on the TV, in newspapers, or just next door all its life.

So when youre having a moody week, or you just chill on the couch for days , you feel like you're useless or lazy. When you are not doing well in school, or you had a mental breakdown, you feel like you're failing at life.

You are not.Why? Because there is no such thing as „the perfect life“, those are all utopic ideas society taught us. You have to accept that there is sad times, there is lazy weeks, and there even is times for mental break downs. A person is not laid-out to always be happy, to always give a 100%.

It is not humanly possible and more so, it is not natural. Yet you catch yourself always expecting more from yourself, always pressuring yourself. And that is one reason why you are not happy with yourself. You are not allowing yourself to be human.

I am what people would consider a very happy person, but that does not mean I am never sad, I don't have unproductive days. I am human, and I am, just as I was born, just how I am meant to be.

Do what you feel is right for you.

Humans underestimate their knowledge,their intuition. You already know what is right for you, you simply have to give yourself a moment of peace and then listen to yourself.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Selfharm

I even apply this onto selfharm.Humans who accept themselves mostly do not want to hurt themselves. That is merely a result of external and internal pressure and false ideals.

I have known several people who would practice self harm.All of them were angry at themselves or felt like they were a disappointment, like they had to punish themselves.

Let me ask you. How can you be a disappointment just by being as you are?As the universe wanted you to be?

You are not. The fault is not to be found in you, but around you. It is the people around you that are expecting you to be something you are not. You should be this, should be that. I can't love you like this, I don't want you to do that. That is their own unhappiness.It is their way of compensating that they are incomplete. They focus on you, and try to find “mistakes“ in you. But there is no such thing as a mistake in you.You are as you are, you are right for yourself, you are alive and meant to be this way.

What we need to understand is that if everyone would prioritize their own spiritual happines, we would not be a more selfish or cruel society, we would be a more caring and sharing society. If everyone was happy with themselves, no one would ever feel the need to bring someone down, sharing material things wouldn't reduce their happiness.It would enhance it.

________________________________________________________________________________

Can you imagine being happy on your own, then making someones day and multiplying that happiness by a thousand?

We think it is wrong to make ourselves happy before anyone else.But we cannot succeed in making others happy if we aren't ourselves .We can make people think we are happy but what good is that? If you do so, you trick yourself into a certain pattern of behaviour.On the surface you think that making others happy will eventually make you happy, but it won't. It gives you the illusion of something that's supposed to work, because society said so, but it won't. Accept yourself, make time for yourself, and achieve to make others happy just by being yourself.

The universe is endless, just like you are an endless source of ideas, thoughts and improvement.

What kind of improvement is in your hands, it is in your plan, in your genes, it is within your soul.

No one knows where you will go, but all I know and that i am certain of is that you are a universe, full of individual stars, some glowing brightly, some sparkling. And it all together means life.It means beauty.It means endless wides, open for change and improvement.It means stars exploding, to create something better. It means pureness.It means. YOU.